December 2nd, 2008 by bayu

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes
her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s
worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the
ultimate form of foreplay (BUT BY NO MEANS THE ONLY ONE!).

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there’s a
difference between being erotic and blowing as if you’re trying to
extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. Knock it off!

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you
rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs. When she turns
her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it’s pain damn it!

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they
get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and sooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman’s nipples, then clamp down like they’re
trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly
sensitive. They can’t stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently.
Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they’re a doggie
toy is not.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and
thumb like you’re trying to find a radio station in a hilly area.
Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East
and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body
which you’ve ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into
downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention!

GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled
fingers and underpants. If you’re going to be that aggressive, just
ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man’s responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, …. and remember .. it is not the
on button for you to hit repeatedly! So, gently rotate your fingers
along side of it.

Read the rest of this entry »

June 8th, 2008 by bayu

Making Love ?? hehehehe gak lah. ini kan hari minggu. so ML itu hari Minggu Lagi :p. jangan ngeres dulu ah. baca dulu sampe habis. biar gak salah sasaran. kira-kira gitu deh maksudnya.

sebenere lo ya. aku sering diajak ML. terutama sih sama cewe. banyak yang kepengen ngajak ML aku. yang cowo juga ada kok. kadang yang keluar uang aku. kadang mereka. tapi kebanyakan mereka. aku kan cuman keluar tenaga aja. yah kadang sampe keringetan juga. eits… paan si ML ?? Makan Lagi.

biasanya kalo aku keluar tenaga sampe keringetan ngangkutin beras (pas jadi kuli dadakan). pas selesai angkut-angkutnya, ya diajak ML alias Makan Lagi. kenapa ko lagi ? la sebelom ngangkutin beras kan di suruh makan dulu. kadang juga ngangkutinnya kan gak hanya sekali. jadi ya ML alias Makan Lagi dan Lagi … (kaya lagunya Andra and The Backbone deh).

hari minggu ini tadi ada acara kirab Adipura. yah tadi abis makan ikutan jalan-jalan keliling kota. tapi cuman bentar. abis di perempatan aku belok sendiri. meluncur ke javanet. hehehehe… biar diarak sendiri tu Adipuranya. kalo kemarinnya pemda kabupaten blitar juga gitu. punya acara arak-arakan piala adipura. lah minggu nya ini tadi gantian pemda kota blitar. hebat kan blitar ?? gak kabupaten, gak kota blitar. semuane alias blitaraya (kab+kota blitar) dapet adipura.

btw apa sih Adipura itu ? coba cek disini deh http://id.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adipura

diarak-arakan tadi banyak lo yang pake kostum aneh-aneh. ada yang cantik. cewe lah yang pasti. tapi aku gak tau sapa. la wong bukan kenalan. bukan temen juga :p. jadi ya harap maklum aja. la foto nya ? hmmm sementara ini blog ni gak ada foto. abis kamera digitalku lagi di pinjem sama soim. gak tau buat apa dia. udah ampir sebulan tu coolpix ku di bawa dia.

o iya, salisa kemarin ma tadi pagi ngajak ML lo…. Makan Lagi gitu lochh… :p

tapi sayange aku udah makan. jadi ya lewat aja deh. paling-paling ntar dia ngajal ML pasti ada maune. minimal di suruh benerin komputernya. wah sori aja sa… hari minggu ini aku mo nyantai